6 June, 2018 13:52

HSBC and the Bob Clones

I’ve seen the buzz about the updates taking place at HSBC this weekend. I know how we think. We think it means they’re going to finally release the currency revaluation. You are correct. But it’s not the good news you were hoping for.

BOB CLONES
Imagine it like this: the more rare an item is the more valuable it is. So the most valuable asset on the planet for you, is you. There’s only one you, and that makes your life, your health, and your testimony the most valuable personal asset you will ever possess. In like manner, you hold an immeasurable value to various people that love you for the role you play in their life, or just the person that you are to them.

Now let’s just say that you are feeling trapped in your life and overwhelmed by your all of your responsibilities. You’re looking for a way out and you’re tired of feeling like all you do is work. Let’s pretend I’m your boss.

Now imagine that I have a cloning machine. So I offer to make clones of you and you don’t have to come to work anymore. You think everyone will get a few clones of themselves, but instead of cloning everyone, I just clone you. We’ll say your name is Bob. Millions and millions of Bob, repeated with your same memories, birthmarks, attitude, and expressions.

Your kids who normally hassle you to play basket ball with them, or go to the park, now just play with the clone. And when you ask them a question they just tell you that they already told Bob. Your wife has never been more satisfied because the Bob Clones are never too tired to take out the trash, rub her feet, or pick out wall paper. Your parents are thrilled to have a version of you around who’s so starved for attention that he spends all of his time there laughing at your Dad’s jokes, and doing Bible studies with your Mom. All of the key characters in your life now have an abundance of you, and the more you there is, the less they need the real you.

At first you appreciate the down time to play pool with your friends and go fishing. But as production continues, the Bob Clones start to devalue the original Bob. After a while, you can’t go fishing or play pool, because your character and reputation has no unique value, and even you are sick of seeing you. You can’t travel because all the Bob Clones think they’re the real Bob, and there’s too many of them to identify which one is you.

The Governments of the world start to recognize the Bob Clones as an international crisis. The creation of additional Bobs is now considered an act of war. The Bob Crisis has become the number one concern of every country in the world while humanitarian groups fight to create a safe island for the Bobs to migrate to. More and more countries refuse to accept Bobs and levy sanctions on the US for spawning so many Bobs. The Bobs which were designed to be a luxury household items have now become so common that they devalue by 3000%.

Now everyone who couldn’t buy a Bob Clone before is buying them at a greatly discounted rate. People aren’t sure if the Bobs have a soul or not, so it becomes a religious crisis if an owner kills one. Everyone stops working and just sends in their Bob Clones, which can only do certain things well, so less and less quality goods are being produced. This creates an incredible increase in prices because the sudden population spike created new demand, and the slow production has made Milk more valuable than Bobs.

After the lower income bracket families have finally purchased the last Bob, they make it illegal to have a Bob Clone, and riots break out as the impoverished are left without even the temporary benefit having a Bob clone offered them.

My company now known as “Bob Bob & Bob” come to the rescue with a selective virus that only attacks the Bob DNA.

Now the Bobs are getting sick and roaming the streets homeless and hungry, not realizing that they are clones. So you go out for a walk and hit your head making you a little dizzy. When you walk back in the house your speech is a little tired sounding compared to normal.

Your wife, who didn’t even realize you had even left, tells the Basketball Bob and her Body Rub Bob to attack you. Your disheveled appearance made you look like one of the homeless wandering Bobs around town. As you lay on the floor getting pummeled by yourself, remembering how excited you were when you got your black belt in Karate, never thinking it would come back to you in this way, you begin to regret wanting to play pool and go fishing so much that you agreed to be cloned an innumerable number of times.

As the founder of “Bob, Bob & Bob” now famous for our humanitarian efforts to eliminate the Bob crisis my company comes to the rescue once again with Bob Clone Disposal system that you can install in your basement in case you have any Bob issues. Coincidentally the product is already available on store shelves as soon as the need for such an item is announced. At the same time we launch a “Bob Prevention Home Security Package” a special “Bob Mace” that has peanut oil inside because you’re allergic to it, and a “Bob Recovery Program” to enslave the Bobs to work dangerous jobs we don’t want normal people to do.

Laid up in the hospital it’s almost impossible to get service as the emergency rooms are filled with Bob Clones all crying out that they’re the real Bob. One by one they eliminate the Bobs like putting a dog to sleep. When it’s your turn to go in, you remember your beautiful family and your busy life. You keep telling the nurse and doctors that you’re really the original Bob, trying to convince them of your value. The nurses use a cotton candy voice like speaking to a puppy, telling you that they believe you and everything will be okay. And as they put the mask on your face the indifference of the nurses annoyed that they have to work late is the last image that you see. The Bob way of life has been destroyed and there’s nothing left if all that you had built before the Clones began taking over.

And the boss you hate, now has a massive slave army of Bob Clones that are completely under his control.

MEANWHILE AT HSBC
In like manner, HSBC wants to bring massive amounts of fake digital money into the system this weekend. It doesn’t have the value of asset backed currency but everyone wants a break. HSBC will not be allowed to syphon money from the people anymore and they will not be allowed to create money out of thin air. There’s another sets of books to hold them accountable and when they try it, it will be considered an act of war. They will be stopped before it starts.

If they were successful they would create a massive excess of USD that would diminish the value of our currency, causing the economies all over the world to crash, allowing them to swoop in and take absolute control of the entire world.

If nothing else, just consider this. The Chinese Elders have not paid a dime to anyone, even for project funding. Multiply that by the number of days, weeks, months and years you have expected them to finally do it. If they have control of the financial system, and the Cabal is defeated, you should at least wonder why the benevolent Chinese Elders would allow 8643 people to die every day from starvation, when apparently they have no enemy to even contend with.

And, if they don’t have control of the system because Kim-Possible is really who she says she is, and she is just taking over the system and that takes time because the Chinese Elders are constantly blocking, delaying, illegally holding, and hacking the real assets intended to go to the people, then why are they doing that?

At some point, the idea to destroy the value of the US Dollar and demolish the world’s economy in the process so that they can buy it back at pennies on the dollar has got to cross your mind.

Don’t be like Bob (the original)

DISCLAIMER
We at the Speak Project do not discriminate nor have an opinion on the rights of clones, nor are we equipped to validate if they do or do not have a soul. No clones were harmed in the creation of this article. We are not even sure if clones are real. We’re pretty sure they’re real, but we haven’t ever seen one made so we can’t be sure. Regardless, we do not condone the mass production of, or the mass destruction of clones if they do exist, which we think they do. Bob and his family represent fictional characters, and if you happen to have the name Bob, this article was not written about you, unless you are a fictional character living in a world where there are millions of clones of you, in which case, we may have channeled this article from your fictional dimension and therefore cannot be held accountable for telling your life story because we didn’t know it was real. We are not liable for any damages caused to or by this article if it is taken literally by the reader. This article is written for entertainment purposes only and in no way implies that HSBC is being run by an army of “Bob Clones”.

6 Replies to “6 June, 2018 13:52”

  1. Hahaha!
    Big belly laugh about this one! Too funny, Tank! What an imagination you have.
    Multiplicity (1996), one of my favorite films, where Michael Keaton demonstrates the same sort of problems found with Bob.
    Thanks also for the happy little detail about this weekend and the planned exchange. Speaking for myself I am pleased to have a chance to be an Agent of Change.
    Like the Cowardly Lion said, “Let me at ’em! I’ll give’ em a what for! Just let me at ’em. You’ll see.”
    You’ll see.
    Kobayashi Maru, Little Brother.
    We’ve got this.

    1. You will be helping just do what Tanks says and you/we are well on the way for the change. “We are the ones we have been waiting for” – Remember?

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